Sibling Rivalry

Bible Text: Matthew 10:24-39 | Preacher: Rev. Jenn Geddes

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with his young class. After explaining the commandment “to honour thy Mother and thy Father” he asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little girl answered, “yeah, Thou shall not kill.” My brother and I have a pretty good relationship. But that wasn’t always the case. There was the time he pushed me down some stairs and as I result I broke my leg, he was four and I was eight. To be fair, before he could talk I used to pinch him and when Mom would ask me, “why is your brother crying?” I would say, “I don’t know.” We fought with and annoyed each other for most of our childhood. Then as we grew up, we grew closer. I remember my Mom telling us as kids that when we grew up we would actually like each other; at the time I thought she was crazy. Yet he has become one my closest confidants and someone I know who will always love me- and vice versa. Despite the distance (I live here and he lives in Boston) we stay in touch regularly, and while I don’t understand all of his outstanding atmospheric science research I know that it is pretty impressive and I’m proud of my baby brother. My love for my family really causes me to react with intense concern when I read Jesus’ words at the end of our Gospel lesson.
This passage is a rather complicated text, in part because it has some of the most beautiful words about God caring for the sparrow and every hair on our body juxtaposed with Jesus’ words that whoever loves their parents more than him is not worthy of him. But the conversation begins with Jesus talking about imitating your master. For some reason, and I don’t have an answer why, the lectionary skips over verses 5 through 23 of chapter ten. However, those preceding verses help to give us some context. Last week we heard Jesus giving his disciples the authority to heal and expel unclean spirits. Before they are sent out Jesus gives them these instructions- sometimes it has to do with payment, sometimes it is warnings, all of the instructions have to do with practical application. This is how we get to Jesus talking about the disciple-teacher or slave-master relationship. I prefer to use the term master-apprentice.
In Jesus’ day the most common teaching model was for a student to observe, learn from and train with a master before they could them call themselves a tradesman. In fact, it was most common that a son would follow in the same career as a Father- learning from an early age how sometime was to be done. Perhaps even now you can recall someone who taught you an important lesson, be it a teacher, a minister, a parent or even a sibling. You might even feel a bond with said person because they inspired you to be who you are- perhaps you chose your career just because they taught you something special. That’s what Jesus is saying: first you must imitate me, you must find your inspiration through me, you must follow me, and through this imitation model the bond between Christ and us will be inexplicably deep, but it requires a great level of commitment. In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis said, “The Church exists for nothing else but to draw people into Christ, to make them little Christs.”
I bet when the disciples heard this they were concerned and afraid, because Jesus’ next statements are all about fear. Jesus says don’t be afraid of the persecution or the commitment, or the challenges or the rejection, because if God cares for even a little sparrow then how much more does God care for us. In this statement I often think of the love parents have for their children; the powerful bond that means you would do anything for your child or to make sure your child was safe. So why then does Jesus go on to talk about the break-up of the family?
The not-so-simple answer is, just as Jesus’ comment that he has not come to bring peace but the sword is meant to be allegorical, so too is his statement about the family. Yes, we can talk about how Jesus or faith in God must be our top priority, even above family, but that would be missing some of Jesus’ words. You see obedience to Jesus changes the family unit in that it is not solely based on biological or cultural contexts. Through Jesus the family is redefined. Daughters are set against mothers and sons are set against fathers because through Christ the family is changed. We all become brothers and sisters adopted through Christ into the household of God. Just as we fiercely love our actual siblings, so too are we to fiercely love the people sitting next to us in church. And just like in a real family, we don’t get to pick who are relatives are. Perhaps we even fight every once in a while- but as we grow up together we will actually begin to like each other. But I also know that not everyone’s family life is perfect. There are some who have become estranged from a sibling or parent or child or there are family rifts in which one’s foes are members of one’s household. The Gospel passage is perhaps more of a reality than you would like. But that is why the new family paradigm described in this passage is all the more to the point. When we are baptized, we are adopted into the family of God, not just a part of us, but all of us right down to the hairs on our head.
We have all been to those family dinners that involve the crazy aunt or the grumpy uncle. I once heard a comedian say, “If you are thinking to yourself, I don’t have a crazy aunt or a grumpy uncle, then there is a good chance, you are that aunt or uncle.” However, imagine our communion table as that family dinner in which all of us characters are gathered around the table, ready to have a meal- the ones you see often, the ones you wished you saw more, the ones who push all your buttons, the ones who keep to themselves, the ones who seem to have it all together and the ones who are falling apart, the siblings who are easy to love and the ones who are not but you know you must try. We are that family and Christ invites us to this dinner table so that we can be reminded that God is the head of our household. This means we do not come to the table half-heartedly, but with our brothers and sisters and our whole selves, right down to the last hair on your head. Amen