Parent Trap

Bible Text: Matthew 15:10-28 and Genesis 45:1-15 | Preacher: Rev. Jenn Geddes

In the animal kingdom, it is incredible what lengths a parent will go to care for and protect their offspring. Stories range from the beautiful, like the Hornbill birds of Africa where the female will encase herself in a hole in a tree while the eggs are gestating leaving only a crack where the male bird feeds her food, to the tragic like the Giant Pacific octopus who lays  about 74,000 eggs and cares for them for months without leaving them and therefore it’s last bit of energy is spent getting the hatchlings out of the den before it dies of starvation, to the exhausting like a mother Orca who stays awake for the first month of the baby Orca’s life to protect it from predators. And while some of us are biological or adoptive parents and others of us are not, I think we can all identify with the deep love that we have for someone, be it our own flesh and blood or a companion. Family ties, but especially parents, feature well this morning in our Scripture lessons, whether it is Joseph’s deep pain mixed with elation at being reunited with his family or the Canaanite woman’s audacity at talking back to Jesus. These are stories in which people will do anything for their family. But underlying all of that is God’s clear love for humanity, and our need to mirror divine concern for one another.

Last week we heard the beginning of the story of Joseph in which his brothers plot to kill him. We heard the verse, “Here comes this dreamer. Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits…and we shall see what will become of his dreams.”  That verse foreshadows the following events because it is in fact Joseph’s dreams that will sustain, protect, and provide for him. I am aware that this will sound a little clichéd, but Joseph’s motto is basically, “keep dreaming”, and of course these dreams, be it his own or the ones he interprets,

do come true. What we hear this morning is how Joseph’s dreams not only saved the lives of his family, but all of Egypt. Last week’s disturbing and violent story becomes the means by which the Egyptians and Israelites will survive a terrible famine. In many ways we could say that God’s providence runs powerfully throughout this story. But it is also important for us to acknowledge that Joseph never gave up and that it was only in hindsight that he could reflect years later and say, “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people.” How true this is for so many of our experiences.

When Joseph sees his family for the first time in many years, Joseph endures an emotional roller coaster. While his brothers appear to have not changed much, clearly Joseph has, because while he recognizes them, they don’t recognize him. He is eventually overcome with emotions and he weeps so loudly that it is heard throughout Pharaoh’s house. When it is revealed who Joseph is and who he is related to, the brothers do what most of us would do in this situation. They are worried that Joseph, who now holds a great deal of power, is about to take revenge on them, is about to get even with them, is about to smite them with his anger. But Joseph does not see this as an opportunity to seek vengeance. In fact, he doesn’t even blame them but instead encourages them not to be distressed or angry with themselves. Joseph chooses not revenge but to receive them, embrace them, and forgive them. There are many reasons why this is a favourite story within the Old Testament. It has an underdog, it has a rags-to-riches story, and it has a happy ending. But I really think it is a favourite is because it is a powerful example of forgiveness. Joseph is able to forgive a most hateful and hurtful action, attempted murder of one of your own kin, and on top of that he welcome his family to Egypt; which gives him a major role in the history of the Israelite people. Forgiveness can be powerful, especially when it is among family members. But this is also a theme for our world. Imagine Joseph being able to not only forgive but welcome the people who tried to kill him. How much more is God’s grace and mercy to us and to our world but it may not come easy. There are times when we are only able to see the pit in front of us rather than the amazing future. If a family member, or a close friend, or a church member, deeply hurts us- either intentionally or unintentionally, it is hard to forgive. In many ways it is easier to just sink deeper into a pit of resentment. So many of us prefer to hold grudges rather than seek reconciliation. Yet Joseph shows us that forgiveness can free us. However, sometimes in the heat of this anger or hurt, we need to talk to God and I believe it is often ok to “talk back” to God as the Canaanite woman did.

Jesus begins this section by commenting on a criticism by the Scribes and Pharisees. It is actually, wonderfully sage advice for a parent. It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person but it is what comes out. I read an article that likened this passage to the idea that you can feed your child all the organic, all-natural products you want, but if they are rude then it’s not doing them a whole lot of good. But Jesus’ comments about the kosher laws do something else. They create a major shift in the household of God. It is these comments that will later be interpreted by Peter and Paul in the Epistles; that will encourage them to preach the Gospel not only to the Jews but to the Gentiles.

However, it makes Jesus’ following interaction with the Canaanite woman all the more disruptive. After preaching about saying kind words, Jesus is downright rude to this woman. Scholars have argued for years about why Jesus would attempt to send this woman away and why she would teach him. Did God use her to teach Jesus, or did Jesus use her to teach the disciples, or was this an honest mistake and Jesus eventually realized it. Or is it possible that not even Jesus, let alone us, can understand the infinitely expandable dimensions of God’s open arms. What appears to happen is that this woman’s desperation and deep love for her child causes her to do some pretty socially unacceptable things. A woman never talked back or argued with a man, a Canaanite never approached an Israelite, and most importantly in a shame-honour society no one ever begged! Yet here she is, doing what is best for her child. It is the woman’s persistence that changes Jesus’ attitude to outsiders. Deirdre Good notes, “When Jesus declared to the disciples his own understanding of an exclusive mission, it is this anonymous woman who changes his mind.” Jesus’ mind is changed so much, perhaps by this interaction alone or by others that by the end of Matthew’s Gospel Jesus gives the great commission to make disciples of all nations.

It is interesting that Jesus has just finished talking about what goes into one’s mouth and what words come out. It is as if the Canaanite Mother overheard these comments because she also uses food analogies to describe why her daughter should also receive the healing power of Christ. The woman pleas three times, and despite the pejorative natures of Jesus’ responses the woman persists. She adapts Jesus’ metaphor to her own needs and extends it. This is an example of a Mother’s fierce love for her child; she does not care that she is talking to the Son of God. She is not concerned that she is a Canaanite and he is a Jew. All that matters is that her child needs healing and she believes Jesus can give it. It is an example of the fierce love that God gives us. It is not about who we are, but rather whose we are, and who loves us. Amen